[Woodland]
(Night time. A coach and four is trotting along the track by the light of a full moon when a lone horseman moves into their path.)
COACHMAN: Whoa!
(The masked horseman rears his horse, who neighs. The coach passengers look out, the young lady leaning forward to emphasise her décolletage.)
HIGHWAYMAN: Stand and deliver!
COACHMAN: Do as he says. I've heard of this brigand. He's known as the Knightmare! Faster than Sam Swift the Quick, deadlier than Deadly Dupont.
HIGHWAYMAN: Dabbling lowpads the pair of 'em, with terrible pseudonyms to boot. Cash bags, jewels, the lot.
FANSHAWE: I will not be robbed by some lone, ranting cavalier!
HIGHWAYMAN: Who says I am alone?
(A pair of bright lights come on in the bushes. Lucie Fanshawe screams.
Meanwhile, also in the forest, the Doctor looks out of the Tardis, then leaves it and starts up a gizmo with a compass on top.)
DOCTOR: Right.
(The gizmo beeps rapidly but softly. As he turns around, a pair of red lights illuminate on stalks sticking out and slightly forward.)
DOCTOR: Warm.
(An orange light comes on in the compass.)
DOCTOR: Warmer.
(The Doctor follows the signal.)
COACHMAN: We are cursed. The Knightmare is in league with the devil.
(The highwayman takes the money and jewels from the Fanshawes.)
HIGHWAYMAN: Aye, Satan's sidekick, me. Where's the rest?
LUCIE: What else would you take from me, sir?
HIGHWAYMAN: You know what I want. Hand over the amulet.
DOCTOR: Hello.
(Consternation as the Doctor has climbed into the coach from the other side.)
FANSHAWE: Ah! Don't shoot!
DOCTOR: Oh, don't mind me, don't mind me. I'm only going to be a minute. Don't worry. Oh, very warm.
HIGHWAYMAN: What are you doing?
DOCTOR: Oh, just ignore me, I'm just passing through, like fish in the night.
HIGHWAYMAN: This is a robbery!
DOCTOR: It's not fish in the night, it's something else.
(The Doctor gets out of the coach and closes the door.)
HIGHWAYMAN: This is my robbery.
DOCTOR: No, ships in the night. Yeah, something like that.
HIGHWAYMAN: Step aside or I shall blow your brains out.
DOCTOR: Sorry, were you talking to me there? Try again. I promise I'll listen this time.
HIGHWAYMAN: You have interrupted my robbery, sir, and you will step away, if you wish to take another breath.
COACHMAN: You're going to get us all killed, if you don't shut your mouth.
DOCTOR: Sorry. Sorry, I really was planning to listen that time but, basically, I didn't. Usually, someone hits me at this point, but she's taking the Year 7s for Taekwondo.
(He follows the gizmo signal.)
DOCTOR: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
(It leads him to the luggage chest at the back of the coach.)
DOCTOR: Yes! Got you! (laughs) Oh, hang on. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was a robbery.
HIGHWAYMAN: I am robbing these people. You are getting out of my way.
DOCTOR: I just need one tiny little thing from out of this box.
HIGHWAYMAN: This is my robbery!
DOCTOR: Well, can't we share it? Isn't that what robbery's all about?
COACHMAN: Yah! Get up!
(The coach drives away at a gallop.)
DOCTOR: Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
HIGHWAYMAN: You bungled my heist.
DOCTOR: No, you bungled mine, Zorro!
HIGHWAYMAN: Whey-faced fool!
DOCTOR: Yeah, well, why don't you show your face? At least I show my face. What's wrong with yours?
(The Highwayman's masculine voice changes to feminine and recognisable.)
ASHILDR: Nothing, Doctor.
(She dismounts and removes her hat, kerchief and mask.)
DOCTOR: You.
ASHILDR: Yes, it is me. What took you so long, old man?
DOCTOR: Old man?
ASHILDR: It seemed apt. Life expectancy is thirty five these days. Well, for everyone else.
DOCTOR: But didn't you know it was me?
ASHILDR: Of course, you don't forget the man who saved your life. It's good to see you.
DOCTOR: Yes, I didn't get that impression when you were threatening to kill me.
(Ashildr changes voices.)
HIGHWAYMAN: The Knightmare has a reputation to maintain.
DOCTOR: It's a very good voice. How do you do that?
ASHILDR: Practice.
DOCTOR: Last time I saw you, you were founding a leper colony. I was so proud of you.
ASHILDR: Proud of me? You weren't even there.
DOCTOR: Yes, I was. You didn't see me, but I saw you.
ASHILDR: And you just left me there?
DOCTOR: Well, you seemed fine.
ASHILDR: In a leper colony? No matter. You're here now. We should celebrate.
DOCTOR: Oh, no, this isn't a visit, I've got a job to do. I'm here looking for an alien object which has no business being here on Earth in 1651. It was just, it just so happened, you know, that my tracking device, it led me to the carriage that you were, you know, robbing. There wasn't. I didn't. It was a
ASHILDR: You mean, you haven't come for me?
DOCTOR: No. It was just a coincidence.
(A church clock chimes in the distance.)
DOCTOR: Oh, Ashildr, I'm sorry.
ASHILDR: Who's Ashildr?
DOCTOR: You are. That's your name. Ashildr, daughter of Einarr. Chuckles. I used to call him Chuckles. Do you remember?
ASHILDR: Yes. I think I remember the village.
DOCTOR: You loved that village.
ASHILDR: If you say so.
DOCTOR: Anyone in that village would have died for you.
ASHILDR: Well, they're all dead now, and here I am. So, I guess it all worked out.
DOCTOR: Ashildr.
ASHILDR: That's not my name. I don't even remember that name.
DOCTOR: Well, what, what, what do you call yourself?
ASHILDR: Me.
DOCTOR: Yes, you. There's nobody else here.
ASHILDR: No. I call myself Me. All the other names I chose died with whoever knew me. Me is who I am now. No one's mother, daughter, wife. My own companion. Singular. Unattached. Alone. Anyway, I should get started. Jump on, I'll give you a ride. You can help me.
DOCTOR: With what?
ASHILDR: Packing.
(She goes back to her horse.)
ASHILDR: Come on.
[Driveway]
(Walking up to a minor manorial country house.)
DOCTOR: It's a big place for someone who lives on their own.
ASHILDR: I have a servant. And all manner of visitors drop in.
(Someone or something is watching from the bushes, growling softly.)
[Entrance hall]
(They enter through a side door and go along a corridor to where the main staircase comes down.)
ASHILDR: Your device, what is it?
DOCTOR: My curioscanner? Oh, it, er, it sort of scans for, it scans for curios. I've just realising how it got its name. It's been tracking exoplanetary energy for the last couple of weeks. I've been following it across the galaxy.
(Ashildr opens a large chest full of loot.)
ASHILDR: And do you know what you're looking for?
DOCTOR: I've got a pretty good idea, yes. Why?
ASHILDR: I wasn't just robbing Lucie Fanshawe for her loot. She's bragged about having the rarest gem in the land, an ancient amulet from foreign parts. Could it be we are looking for the same prize?
DOCTOR: Clearly, you don't need money. So why do you rob?
(Ashildr adds her night's spoils to the collection in the chest and closes it.)
ASHILDR: For the adventure, Doctor. Isn't that what life's all about?
[Library]
(Lit by some candles and a big fire in the fireplace. Floor to ceiling bookcases are filled with identically bound volumes.)
ASHILDR: I've had eight hundred years of adventure, enough to fill a library if you write it down.
(The Doctor picks up a crown from a table.)
DOCTOR: A medieval queen? How exciting.
ASHILDR: You'd think. It was paperwork and backgammon mainly, as I recall. Ended up faking my own death. Did a bunk before the evisceration.
(Memories of her getting out of her coffin and climbing out of a window.)
ASHILDR: Now this was much more my thing.
(She hands him a longbow, and remembers stealing the clothes of a soldier so she could join the line of troops heading to battle.)
ASHILDR: The Battle of Agincourt. My first stint as a man. No-one will ever know that a mere woman helped end the Hundred Years' War.
DOCTOR: You're immortal, not indestructible. You can be hurt, killed even.
(He twangs the bowstring.)
ASHILDR: Ten thousand hours is all it takes to master any skill. Over over a hundred thousand hours and you're the best there's ever been. I don't need to be indestructible, I'm superb. You should have seen me. I could shoot six arrows a minute. I got so close to the enemy, I penetrated armour.
DOCTOR: How many people have you killed?
ASHILDR: You'll have to check my diaries.
DOCTOR: You can't remember?
ASHILDR: For what it's worth, I've saved many lives too.
(Memories of a crowd with pitchforks chanting 'kill the witch.' Ashildr was dragged along with her hands tied, fastened to a ducking stool and dumped into a lake. She somehow swims unnoticed to a bank behind the villagers and gets away unseen.)
ASHILDR: I cured an entire village of scarlet fever once, almost got drowned as a witch for my troubles. Fortunately, I'm really good at holding my breath. Ungrateful peasants.
(The Doctor picks up the beaked leather hood of a seventeenth century plague doctor.)
DOCTOR: The Black Death, 1348. I meant to warn you.
ASHILDR: I got sick, but I got better.
DOCTOR: Of course, your immune system is learning too. There's another bout coming. And a big fire that tears through London.
ASHILDR: Excellent. Maybe I start it.
DOCTOR: No, that was the Terileptils. Surgeon, scientist, inventor, composer, it's a fantastic CV.
ASHILDR: You should try my journals. I read them myself now and then. Drink pomace wine, have a little me time.
DOCTOR: You don't seem the nostalgic type.
ASHILDR: It's not nostalgia, it's curiosity. I can't remember most of it. That's the trouble with an infinite life and a normal sized memory.
DOCTOR: It can't have been easy, outliving the people you love.
ASHILDR: According to my journals, hell.
DOCTOR: Sorry.
ASHILDR: You'll have to remind me, what's sorrow like? It all just runs out, Doctor. I'm just what's left. In fact, I've done all I can here. I look up to the sky and wonder what it's like out there. Please, take me with you. All these people here, they're like smoke, they blow away in a moment. You don't know what it's like.
DOCTOR: I do know what it's like.
ASHILDR: Then, however you fly, whatever ship you sail in, take me with you.
DOCTOR: How'd you know I had a ship?
ASHILDR: Because I'm incredibly clever. It doesn't matter. Take me with you.
DOCTOR: We'll talk about it.
ASHILDR: This thing you're looking for, I'll help you find it. It'll be quicker.
DOCTOR: I don't need your help.
ASHILDR: Yes, you do. I know where Lucie Fanshawe lives, and I'm an excellent house-breaker. We'll leave in an hour.
(She goes out of the library and shuts the door to lean on it. The Doctor selects a journal from the start of the massive collection and starts reading. The first is in English with a strong right hand slant to the script.)
ASHILDR [OC]: Today is the day I should have died. Instead, I was re-born, by my hero, a man called The Doctor. My love is dying. It broke my heart when the questions started and I knew I had to leave him. I returned to find an old man who smiles and thinks I am a dream. I am flesh and blood, my love, but all you see is a ghost.
(Ashildr goes outside with a lantern. The Doctor discovers that some pages have been torn out of a journal written in Latin, and the ink is smeared with round drops of water.)
DOCTOR: Tears.
ASHILDR [OC]: The Plague. Mass graves. Sightless children
(Images of wooden framed houses and ragged people, and a weeping woman clutching a rag doll in her grief.)
DOCTOR: (reads) Clutching toys as they sleep, never to wake up. My children. My screams. I could not save you, little ones. Such pain. And yet, still, still I am not brave enough to die, to let go of this wretched life. I will endure, but no more babies. I cannot, will not, suffer such heartbreak again. From now on, it's me against the world.
[Grounds]
(Ashildr speaks to the something that is watching. The two bright lights hiding in the bushes.)
ASHILDR: Quiet, my friend. We have a visitor. I didn't get it, but I will. If your promise stands, I'll have it by dawn. My visitor can help me. Don't worry, he doesn't know about you, only about the artefact. He has no idea what we intend to do with it.
(The thing growls softly.)
[Dining room]
(Ashildr returns and puts out her lantern. The Doctor enters.)
DOCTOR: I read your journals. Why are there pages missing?
ASHILDR: When things get really bad, I tear the memories out.
DOCTOR: What could be worse than losing your children?
ASHILDR: I keep that entry to remind me not to have any more.
(She pokes a fire burning in a grate.)
DOCTOR: I've left you alone too long. I had no idea how much you'd suffered. But I remember the person you used to be. She's still in there. I can help you find her.
ASHILDR: Spare me your pity, I'm fine.
DOCTOR: I think this is just another mask that you wear to protect you from the pain.
ASHILDR: I think the alternative frightens you, that this is who I've become.
DOCTOR: This is no way to live your life, de-sensitised to the world.
ASHILDR: So you intend to fix me? Make me feel again, then run away? I don't need your help, Doctor, you need mine. Just this once, you can't run off like you usually do.
DOCTOR: How do you know? How do you know what I usually do? We've met once in a Viking village. I didn't give you my life story.
ASHILDR: It's true though, isn't it? You're the man who runs away.
DOCTOR: Oh, who told you that?
ASHILDR: Maybe I just worked it out.
(She puts her pistols into her belt.)
ASHILDR: Come on.
(They go out by the small door again, and the Doctor stops as if he hears the faint growling. We are shown more of a feline personage.)
[Outside the Fanshawes' home]
(A stately pile played by Tredegar House. Ashildr has donned her mask again, and they approach the rear of the property.)
ASHILDR: Housebreaks can be tricky.
DOCTOR: Not for me. Sonic technology. It should be able to deactivate any alarms.
ASHILDR: What's an alarm?
(She holds up a wanted flyer for The Knightmare.)
ASHIDR: The most wanted in the land.
DOCTOR: Now is not the time to be showing off.
ASHILDR: Now seems like a very good time to me.
(She slides the paper under the door and uses a wire to push the key out of the lock and onto it, so she can slide the paper back outside and unlock the door with it. Then she holds out a domino mask to the Doctor.)
ASHIDR: You'll need a mask, sidekick. Watch and learn.
DOCTOR: Brought my own, thanks.
(He puts on the sonic sunglasses.)
[Fanshawe's home]
ASHILDR: 'Tis black as night. I have a tinderbox somewhere.
(The Doctor sonics a candle into lighting.)
ASHILDR: Show off. Know where you're going, do you?
(She takes the candle from him.)
ASHILDR: The servant's stairs. Follow me.
[Staircase]
(Going upstairs, whispering.)
DOCTOR: Why are you still alone? What happened to the second immortality charge I gave you?
ASHILDR: Shh.
(She shows it him, hidden inside her jacket.)
ASHILDR: No one's good enough.
DOCTOR: Humans need
ASHILDR: Hush!
(They wait for a light at the top of the stairs to disappear.)
DOCTOR: Humans need shared experiences.
ASHILDR: I'm regretting sharing this one.
DOCTOR: It isn't right for you to be on your own!
(A maidservant comes out of a room along the corridor.)
[Upstairs corridor]
SERVANT: Goodnight, Ma'am.
(She walks away without seeing them.)
ASHILDR: I'll wager there's a dressing room. Come on!
(Ashildr opens a door further on and goes inside. The Doctor almost walks into the open door.)
[Dressing room]
(Ashildr crosses the dark panelled room and opens a large cabinet containing lots of inlaid drawers and compartments. The Doctor sets his curioscanner going.)
ASHILDR: Doctor! Doctor, turn that thing off.
(It leads him to one particular compartment containing a box, which in turn contains a large glowing purple gem in a diamond and pearl encrusted setting.)
DOCTOR: The Eyes of Hades.
[Fanshawe's room]
(On their way back through the house, a door opens. They hurry across an open area, probably the top of the main stairs, to another room to hide and discover that a man is also in there, snoring on a couch.)
DOCTOR: (sotto) Let's just go round and see if we can't get out the back.
ASHILDR: (sotto) Okay.
(Of course a floorboard creaks.)
FANSHAWE: Lucie?
(They duck down and crawl on hands and knees as Fanshawe rises and picks up a candle.)
FANSHAWE: Lucie?
(Ashildr looks over the far end of the couch and ducks down again as Fanshawe turns.)
FANSHAWE: Lucie?
(He goes out of the room. Ashildr and the Doctor stand, then the Doctor knocks a fire iron onto the floor with a clatter.)
FANSHAWE [OC]: There is an intruder on the premises! Bring me my blunderbuss!
(Ashildr readies her pistol.)
DOCTOR: What are you doing?
ASHILDR: It's kill or be killed.
DOCTOR: No, we can't. We should hide.
(Fanshawe re-enters the empty room with his own pistol at the ready.)
FANSHAWE: Guard the doors! Alert the militia!
(The Doctor's feet are dangling inside the chimney.)
[Chimney]
ASHILDR: (sotto) Your feet, you oaf.
(He pulls them up and they start climbing.)
ASHILDR: Oh, I said you'd be a liability. Just let me shoot them and be done with it!
DOCTOR: You're the liability. I never have this trouble with Clara.
ASHILDR: Oh, is she still with you, is she?
(They pause.)
DOCTOR: Oh, you remember Clara, do you?
ASHILDR: Of course. I take particular note of anyone's weaknesses.
FANSHAWE [OC]: Search every nook and cranny! I warrant they will hang for this!
ASHILDR: So what's wrong with Clara, then?
DOCTOR: There's nothing wrong with her.
ASHILDR: Why haven't you made her immortal?
DOCTOR: Well, look how you turned out.
ASHILDR: She'll die on you, you know. She'll blow away like smoke.
DOCTOR: Save your breath.
ASHILDR: How old are you, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Older than you.
ASHILDR: And how many have you lost? How many Claras?
(They climb onto the roof and escape.)
[Woodland]
(Walking along a broad path. At last, a bit of daylight to see by.)
DOCTOR: Robbery, burglary, that's capital. Meat and drink to the hangman, Ashildr.
(They pass a gibbet.)
ASHILDR: I'm not Ashildr. I'm Me. And I fear no hangman in Christendom.
(A crow caws, and a man jumps down from a tree to stand in front of them.)
SAM: Ah ha!
ASHILDR: Sam Swift the Quick. I wouldn't be so bold if I were you. Don't you know who I am?
SAM: The Knightmare, which is why I'm not alone.
(He has two accomplices.)
ASHILDR: 'Tis hardly a fair fight.
SAM: And it was fair when you stole my patch?
ASHILDR: Is that a fake nose, Sam? They should call you Sam Sniffed.
SAM: What's wrong with it? It's perfectly normal, innit?
ASHILDR: For an anteater maybe.
SAM: Ooo! Well, never knew you were so puny, Knightmare. Or should I say, Slightmare.
(They laugh.)
DOCTOR: No, not the puns. Line in the sand. No puns.
ASHILDR: It's what's in my brain that counts, Bingo Boy.
SAM: Well, no brain outwits a bullet, Dandyprat.
(He draws his pistol.)
DOCTOR: This is banter. I'm against banter. I'm on record on the subject of banter.
SAM: Lay down your arms, hand over the loot, or I'll shoot.
ASHILDR: (sighs) We better had. He'll probably aim to miss and hit one of us.
DOCTOR: We could give you cash instead.
SAM: Who's this, your sidekick? You've got your dad as a sidekick?
DOCTOR: I'm not his dad, I'm the Doctor.
SAM: Is that the best name you could come up with?
DOCTOR: What, says Sam Swift the Quick? That's trying a bit too hard, isn't it? Or are you a little bit slow?
SAM: You what?
(Ashildr takes Sam's pistol in one quick move.)
SAM: Oi!
DOCTOR: I rest my case. No-one outwits the Knightmare.
(Sam tries to take his pistol back. He and Ashidr struggle on the ground for it as Sam's two accomplices put their pistols to the Doctor's head.)
SAM: If you value the life of your sidekick, back off! Put the weapon down!
(Sam gets his pistol back and throws off Ashildr, then stands and points his weapon at the Doctor.)
SAM: Who's slow now, Doctor?
(Ashildr kicks his feet out from under him and gets the pistol back. Sam ends up on his back with his pistol pointing at his head.)
DOCTOR: Good question.
(Sam's accomplices back away from the Doctor.)
SAM: Please, Knightmare, I don't want to die. Let's have honour amongst us.
DOCTOR: Also can you confirm that I'm not your dad?
ASHILDR: What do you say, Dad? I should kill him? He'll be dead in a minute. What difference does it make?
DOCTOR: Kill him and you make an enemy of me.
(Ashildr stops pointing the pistol at Sam's head.)
ASHILDR: Run.
(Sam gets up, grabs his hat and runs away with the other two. Ashildr collects her own pistol from the ground.)
DOCTOR: I know their lives are short, I understand, but those lives do matter.
ASHILDR: Shut up. You're not my dad.
[Entrance hall]
(Back at Ashildr's manor house, the Doctor calls up the stairs.)
DOCTOR: I have a theory about the amulet.
(An old man clears his throat and comes in from the servant's area.)
CLAYTON: Morning, sir. Forgive me, but might I enquire into who you are?
DOCTOR: The Doctor.
CLAYTON: Clayton, sir.
(Ashildr comes down the stairs in a fuchsia coloured dress with white lace trim.)
CLAYTON: Would you care for a cocktail, milady?
ASHILDR: Oh, yes, please.
(Clayton leaves, coughing.)
ASHILDR: Half blind and deaf as a post. He is no use any more really, but
DOCTOR: You keep him on. See, you do have a heart. You don't fool me.
ASHILDR: How do I look?
DOCTOR: Pink. Are you coming down with something? Look, why would an alien artefact resemble the Eyes of Hades, King of the Underworld?
(Ashildr takes the jewel from the Doctor and goes into the dining room, putting it into her drawstring purse.)
[Dining room]
DOCTOR: An ancient Greek talisman which wards off evil and protects those in death on their journey to an afterlife?
ASHILDR: You tell me.
DOCTOR: Could it be that the mythology originated on another planet?
ASHILDR: You can't wait to get going and find out, I'll wager.
DOCTOR: No. I think I want to stick around, and keep an eye on you for a while.
ASHILDR: Get me back on track?
DOCTOR: Well, why not? Hey, we're a good team.
ASHILDR: Then take me with you.
DOCTOR: You don't want to get stuck with an old fool like me. You have this whole wonderful planet to play on.
ASHILDR: It takes a day to get to Kent.
DOCTOR: In the future, you'll fly.
ASHILDR: I want to fly right now. I have waited longer than I should ever have lived. I have lost more than I can even remember. Please, Doctor, just get me out of this. I want more than this. I deserve more than this. Why not? Why not?
DOCTOR: Because it wouldn't be good. Ashildr, please. Ashildr.
ASHILDR: I am not Ashildr any more.
(Something big snarls nearby.)
DOCTOR: Do you have a cat? It sounds like a very big cat. Hence the very big cat flap.
(Light is coming from behind a pair of doors. The Doctor opens them to reveal a man-sized biped with lights for eyes. It walks forward and the Doctor backs away. The being looks like a lion and is wearing a golden diadem. The lights in its eyes fade.)
ASHILDR: Leandro, meet the Doctor. You thought I was helping you. In fact, it was the other way round. Leandro, we have it. My friend here was as useful as I'd hoped.
DOCTOR: If somebody needed my help, why did nobody just ask? I am forced to assume you have plans I wouldn't approve of. Oh, Ashildr.
ASHILDR: Stop calling me that.
DOCTOR: Kill me!
LEANDRO: Why?
DOCTOR: If you intend any harm to this planet or its people, then killing me is by far your best move.
LEANDRO: You invite your own death?
ASHILDR: No. I just want you to attack first. Then my conscience is clear.
LEANDRO: Of what?
ASHILDR: You.
LEANDRO: (laughs) You are not of this world, or part of my plans. I have no quarrel with you.
DOCTOR: Then tell me why you are here and what you intend to do. Otherwise, get on with trying to kill me. But I advise you. Be very quick and very sure.
LEANDRO: I am from Delta Leonis. My tribe was overthrown, my world destroyed, my wife killed as we escaped.
DOCTOR: Using the amulet? That was your means of travel.
LEANDRO: I lost it when I crashed to Earth.
ASHILDR: I found him in my grounds. He's been sleeping there while I searched for it.
DOCTOR: The Underworld, gateway to an afterlife, another reality.
ASHILDR: We need it to open a portal, travel the galaxy.
DOCTOR: Oh! Oh, so what's the plan, Ashildr? Fancy yourself as his new Queen? Hunting, running errands while he sleeps.
ASHILDR: Oh, dear God. You're just like every other man. I'm not looking for a husband, you oaf. I'm looking for a horse to get me out of town. You said no.
DOCTOR: Oh, what? And you think you can trust him?
ASHILDR: He knows what it is to be alone.
DOCTOR: So do I.
ASHILDR: Then how could you do what you did?
DOCTOR: I'm looking for the headline here.
ASHILDR: The what?
DOCTOR: Well, you know, you want to escape? Well, go on. Escape as much as you like. Why would I not approve?
ASHILDR: The amulet.
DOCTOR: What about it?
LEANDRO: A death is required. It is only way the amulet works.
DOCTOR: Of course. Every single death is a tiny fracture in reality, and the amulet can lever the fracture open. Primitive, but effective.
ASHILDR: It's just exploiting an abundant resource. There's so much dying here.
DOCTOR: So who dies so you can run away?
ASHILDR: Clayton?
CLAYTON [OC]: Coming, milady.
DOCTOR: No, you can't. He loves you.
ASHILDR: To the end, it would seem.
LEANDRO: Would you rather take his place?
(Leandro breathes fire.)
ASHILDR: Not the Doctor. We agreed!
DOCTOR: Oh, Ashildr, daughter of Einarr, what happened to you?
ASHILDR: You did, Doctor. You happened.
[Closet]
(Later, the Doctor's hands are tied behind his back and he is secured to a chair in an adjoining storage room.)
DOCTOR: I know you've suffered. Your children dying.
ASHILDR: They would have died anyway. Human life is fleeting. People are mayflies, breeding and dying, repeating the same mistakes. It's boring. And I'm stuck here, abandoned by the one man who should know what eternity feels like. Who should understand.
DOCTOR: I do, now, but
ASHILDR: You still won't take me with you. You gad about while I trudge through the centuries, day by day, hour by hour. Do you ever think or care what happens after you've flown away? I live in the world you leave behind, because you abandoned me to it.
DOCTOR: Why should I be responsible for you?
ASHILDR: You made me immortal.
DOCTOR: I saved your life. I didn't know that your heart would rust because I kept it beating. I didn't think your conscience would need renewing, that the well of human kindness would run dry. I just wanted to save a terrified young woman's life.
ASHILDR: You didn't save my life, Doctor. You trapped me inside it. And now I've found someone who can set me free. Someone who understands.
DOCTOR: Look, I don't know what Lenny the Lion is up to, but I know his type. Very first argument, guaranteed he'll bite your head off.
ASHILDR: Or I'll bite his off. Perhaps I'll enjoy that.
DOCTOR: You're playing with fire. Open that portal and you have no idea what horrors might come through.
ASHILDR: That's as good a reason as any to do it.
DOCTOR: You're not like this. I know you're not.
ASHILDR: This is exactly what I'm like. This is what you made of me.
DOCTOR: He'll kill you.
ASHILDR: He'll have to be fast. And if he does, perhaps it's about time.
(Knocking on door.)
LLEWELYN [OC]: Lady Me?
(The Doctor scrapes his chair to the doorway of the closet.)
[Dining room]
(Two pikemen rush in, one Welsh and one English.)
LLEWELYN: Oh, Lady Me, thank goodness you are safe. Sam Swift has been captured and he swore the Knightmare was heading in this direction.
ASHILDR: I've not seen him.
STOUT: Sam Swift will hang in Tyburn at noon.
ASHILDR: In half an hour?
(She looks over her shoulder at the Doctor leaning out of the closet.)
ASHILDR: A guilty man destined to die? No harm in that. I have not seen the Knightmare. But this is his sidekick, the Doctor. He was robbing me. I only just managed to overpower him.
(Llewelyn checks a scroll, which turns out to be a flyer proclaiming Wanted! The Man known as "The Doctor".)
LLEWELYN: You will hang for this!
DOCTOR: No, listen, I was trying to help her. She tied
LLEWELYN: Silence or we'll
(Stout fires his pistol into the ceiling.)
LLEWELYN: Shoot.
ASHILDR: He needn't hang. But keep him under lock and key, for all our sakes.
(Clayton enters. Llewelyn draws his pistol.)
CLAYTON: Was that the door? Oh, dear. Always the quiet ones.
ASHILDR: Goodbye, Clayton. (to the Doctor) You see? I do have a heart.
DOCTOR: In which case, don't do it.
(Ashildr leaves the room and goes to her coach.)
DOCTOR: Do I look like some feckless thief? I'm on your side. I'm an undercover constable from Scotland Yard. Do you have Scotland Yard yet?
LLEWELYN: Been on the cider, have we?
(Stout unties the Doctor and pulls him to his feet.)
DOCTOR: The Dunbar Victory medal. I was decorated for valour in battle.
(Llewelyn squints at the Doctor's psychic paper. He either cannot read or isn't impressed by a Scotsman being on the side of Cromwell in 1650.)
STOUT: Tell it to the Newgate gaoler.
DOCTOR: All I want is to bring the Knightmare to justice.
LLEWELYN: But you were robbing Lady Me.
DOCTOR: I came to warn her. I fear her life is in danger.
(He looks out of the windows to see Ashildr cloaked and driving her coach, with Leandro inside it.)
DOCTOR: Look! It's the Knightmare, cloaked and in disguise, bound for Tyburn. You have to let me go, or take me there.
STOUT: You wish to hang too?
DOCTOR: Well, will you take me there if I say yes?
LLEWELYN: Indeed. There's a bounty on your head for twenty pounds.
DOCTOR: Twenty pounds? Is that all?
STOUT: 'Tis a small fortune to us.
DOCTOR: Well, in that case, I know where Lady Me keeps all of her money. Almost thirty pounds.
LLEWELYN: Now why didn't you say that in the first place?
(The Doctor is on horseback, galloping along the track and passing a marker that says 5 miles to Tyburn.)
[Tyburn]
(Looking nothing like the real scaffold in the middle of a crossroads outside London. A crowd have gathered for the noon entertainment. Posters on a fence say the Knightmare's reward is £100 compared to the Doctor's £20, amongst other items.Sam Swift is preparing himself by drinking from a bottle.)
WOMAN: Hang him! Hang him!
SAM: All right, calm down. Steady on. Such a good turn out. I'm honoured. Yeah I, er. (points at the hangman) Hey, he's new at this. Someone will have to show him the ropes.
(The crowd laughs.)
SAM: Don't worry mate, you'll get the hang of it. When I'm gone, they'll all say, that Sam Swift, he was well hung.
(More laughter.)
SAM: Well, I think a few of you know that already. Oh, yeah, I'm sure I recognise a few of you lovely ladies. You
(An elderly red-haired woman shakes her head and mouths no.)
SAM: And you. I mean I'd introduce you all, but I can't remember your names.
(Women boo.)
SAM: (to Hangman) Hey, it's a good job you're here, or they'd kill me.
(Nearby, a bell sounds the hour.)
CROWD: Hats off, hats off.
(The Doctor is still galloping through the woods. Ashildr has arrived, and got down from the driver's box.)
MAN: Stretch his neck!
SAM: Mary? Meg? Help me out here, miss.
BAXTER: That's Mrs Baxter to you!
SAM: That's a funny name for a fella!
(The crowd, and Mrs Baxter, laugh.)
LEANDRO: It's time.
SAM: Hold on, I've got plenty more. Jokes, that is, as well as women.
LEANDRO: Hang him now!
CROWD: Hang him! Hang him!
(The Doctor urges on his horse.)
MAN: Make us laugh, Sam!
(Sam takes another drink from his bottle as Ashildr makes her way through the crowd.)
SAM: Aye. For while you laugh, I live. It was raining on the way over here. But the hangman says to me, it's all right for you. I've got to walk back through this.
(He sees Ashildr give coins to the Hangman.)
SAM: What are you paying for, my beauty?
ASHILDR: To make it quick. A fitting end for you, Sam Swift.
SAM: Who should be the last to kiss these lips?
WOMEN: Me! Me! Me!
SAM: They must mean you, Lady Me.
(Ashildr kisses Sam.)
SAM: You remind me of someone. And now I want to live more than ever.
(The Doctor runs across a castle bridge. No castles at the real Tyburn, though.)
DOCTOR: Sorry, yes. Sorry about the horse! Excuse me!
LEANDRO: Time to hang.
DOCTOR: Sorry, excuse me. Excuse me! Sorry!
CROWD: Hang him! Hang him!
SAM: All right, all right. As God is my Highwayman. He steals the most precious gift of all. Life. Magical, filled with adventures. And at least I can say I lived mine to the full.
WOMAN: I love you, Sam Swift.
(Sam sees the Doctor looking at the posters.)
SAM: Is that the Doctor? Doctor, doctor! I'm a robber.
(The crowd are confused. The penny drops for the Doctor, though.)
DOCTOR: Have you taken anything for it?
(The crowd laughs as the Doctor makes his way to the scaffold.)
SAM: Er, Doctor, doctor.
DOCTOR: Quick man, I'm running out of patients!
SAM: Have you ever seen such a sidekick so old?
DOCTOR: I'm no one's sidekick.
SAM: He's so old, he farts dust!
DOCTOR: And his nose is so big that
SAM: They'll have to widen the noose!
DOCTOR: Or, or bury him in a pyramid.
SAM: You know what they say, big nose
CROWD: Oooooo!
DOCTOR: Big handkerchief!
(The crowd laughs as the Hangman manhandles Sam back to the noose.)
SAM: No! Doctor, don't leave me hanging.
(The Doctor gets out his psychic paper again.)
DOCTOR: Wait! I have a pardon here for Sam Swift from Cromwell himself.
(The Hangman takes the paper.)
HANGMAN: Sam Swift is pardoned!
(Sam falls to his knees. The crowd is not pleased. The Hangman gives the paper back to the Doctor.)
BAXTER: We didn't come all this way not to see someone hang. What about the Doctor? Yeah, hang the Doctor. Hang the Doctor! Hang the Doctor. Hang the Doctor!
ASHILDR: Ssh.
(The crowd quietens.)
ASHILDR: You want to see someone die? How's this?
(She holds up the Eye of Hades.)
DOCTOR: No! Ashildr, no! No!
(Ashildr slaps the Eye onto Sam's chest, where is sticks, and then sends out a purple ray into the sky. A rift opens in the clouds.)
DOCTOR: Purple, the colour of death. His life force is opening a portal.
ASHILDR: To my new life.
DOCTOR: Or to Hell.
(Leandro breaths fire at the crowd.)
BAXTER: A lion man!
(Then he points back at the rift.)
BAXTER: Look!
(A planet is visible beyond the rift.)
ASHILDR: Goodbye, Doctor.
LEANDRO: You are going nowhere.
DOCTOR: Doors work both ways. They let people out and they let the enemy in.
(Lots of small objects are visible around the planet.)
ASHILDR: What's that? What's happening? What are those things?
DOCTOR: Space ships, or they will be. They're coming through the rift, actualising in this plane of reality.
ASHILDR: You said you were the last of the Leonians. We were meant to escape.
LEANDRO: You shall. In death.
(The crowd screams as fireballs come flying through and explode on the ground. Leandro attacks the crowd, who scream and scatter. Militiamen fire their pistols at him.)
ASHILDR: No! Doctor, what have I done? What have I done to these people? Stop this! They are defenceless.
(Ashildr attacks Leandro.)
DOCTOR: Ashildr! He doesn't care.
ASHILDR: But I do. Oh, God, I do. I actually do. I, I care. <br< doctor:="" it's="" awful,="" isn't="" it?="" infuriating.="" you="" think="" don't="" care="" and="" then="" fall="" off="" the="" wagon.="" <br="">
DOCTOR: It's awful, isn't it? It's infuriating. You think you don't care, then you fall off the wagon.
ASHILDR: Never mind about me. What are we going to do about them? We have to help them. They need you. They need us.
DOCTOR: Welcome back.
ASHILDR: Well? Do something then!
DOCTOR: Okay. Okay. Er. Eyes of Hades. Afterlife. Death opens up a gateway. We need to close it.
ASHILDR: Yeah, I know, but how?
DOCTOR: Sam Swift, he's the conduit. The amulet, it's still in him. It's his death that's opening the rift. So what do we do?
ASHILDR: Reverse it.
LEANDRO: You cannot reverse death.
ASHILDR: Oh, yes, we can.
(She holds up the other Mire repair chip. Leandro tries to snatch it.)
DOCTOR: Run!
(Up on the scaffold, Ashildr puts the chip onto Sam's forehead and it is absorbed into him.)
LEANDRO: No, my lady. They will destroy me for this.
(The ray changes from purple to gold. Leandro roars at Ashildr, who runs to hide behind the Doctor)
LEANDRO: The light of immortality. Spare me, my brothers!
(Leandro is disintegrated, and the rift closes. The crowd comes out of hiding and dusts themselves down.)
SAM: I'm alive. I'm alive!
(Sam laughs and the crowd cheers. The amulet stuck to his chest no longer shines.)
[Ye Swan with Two Necks]
(At a nearby alehouse.)
SAM: Last thing I remember is you turning up, Doctor. Good thing too. Between you and me, I was running out of material.
DOCTOR: Yeah, I could tell. Gave a whole new meaning to dying on stage.
SAM: Gallows humour can be tricky, but at least there's never a second house. We've nearly finished these. I'll get some more in. Oh, by the way, I've not forgotten that kiss.
(Sam walks away from the table.)
ASHILDR: Is he immortal now?
DOCTOR: Do you want him to be?
ASHILDR: I don't think I want anyone to be.
DOCTOR: Well, probably not. Probably the power would have been drained by the whole opening and reversing the portal thingy. There'll be enough power to bring him back, but not enough power to keep him here, probably.
ASHILDR: Did you just make all of that up?
DOCTOR: Yeah. But it's hard to keep track of all this stuff. Keep an eye on him though. He might be around for a while. Or not. Who can say?
ASHILDR: You're still not going to take me with you, are you.
DOCTOR: People like us, we go on too long. We forget what matters. The last thing we need is each other. We need the mayflies. See, the mayflies, they know more than we do. They know how beautiful and precious life is because it's fleeting. Look how Sam Swift made every last moment count, right to the gallows. Look how glad he is to be alive. I looked into your eyes and I saw my worst fears. Weariness. Emptiness.
ASHILDR: That's why you can't travel with me. Our perspectives are too vast. Too far away.
DOCTOR: You're not the first, you know. I did travel with another immortal once. Captain Jack Harkness.
ASHILDR: Who?
DOCTOR: He'll get round to you eventually. Who told you about me? The man who comes for the battle and runs away from the fallout.
ASHILDR: Take your pick. You've had an impact on this world. You've made waves.
DOCTOR: Sometimes tidal waves.
ASHILDR: I'm flattered.
DOCTOR: Well, you should be. You're an extraordinary woman, Ashildr. But I think I'm going to have to keep an eye on you.
ASHILDR: No.
DOCTOR: No?
ASHILDR: Someone has to look out for the people you abandon. Who better than me? I'll be the patron saint of the Doctor's leftovers. While you're busy protecting this world, I'll get busy protecting it from you.
DOCTOR: So are we enemies now?
ASHILDR: Of course not. Enemies are never a problem. It's your friends you have to watch out for. And, my friend, I'll be watching out for you.
DOCTOR: Ashildr, I think I'm very glad I saved you.
ASHILDR: Oh, I think everyone will be.
[Tardis]
(The Doctor is playing some sad guitar chords when the Tardis door opens.)
CLARA: Hey! Hello?
DOCTOR: Oh, hello! Hi.
CLARA: Did you miss me?
DOCTOR: Be more specific. Who are you?
CLARA: Ha, ha. I've got a present for you.
DOCTOR: Why? Am I ill?
CLARA: No.
DOCTOR: Are you ill?
CLARA: No.
DOCTOR: Are you never going to travel with me again, because I said a thing?
CLARA: It's not a good present.
DOCTOR: Oh, well that's a relief.
CLARA: Okay, Evie Hubbard? Year Seven, you helped her out with her homework? Imaginary interview with Winston Churchill. You basically cheated.
DOCTOR: That was her fault because she should have stressed imaginary.
CLARA: Anyway, she got an A and so she has sent you a selfie.
(Clara holds up her phone for him to see the photograph. He turns away.)
DOCTOR: Yes, you're right. That is not a good present.
CLARA: Come on.
DOCTOR: Do they make sherbet lemons any more? And I'd like a Ferrari. What about a Ferrari?
CLARA: Hmm. I knew you'd be thrilled.
DOCTOR: Okay, come on, let me see, let me see. Let me see, let me see.
(Clara hands over her phone with the photograph of herself, Evie and the certificate. He enlarges it, and in the background is Ashildr, keeping an eye on Clara.)
CLARA: What's wrong?
DOCTOR: Nothing. Nothing at all.
CLARA: Doctor?
DOCTOR: Tell her next time, I'll take cash.
CLARA: So, where are you going to take me?
DOCTOR: Wherever you want.
CLARA: Hmm. Somewhere, somewhere magical. Somewhere new.
DOCTOR: Ah, there is nowhere new under the sun. Above it, on the other hand.
(Clara hugs the Doctor as he sets the coordinates.)
DOCTOR: I've missed you, Clara Oswald.
CLARA: Well, don't worry, daft old man. I'm not going anywhere.
(The Doctor nods, Clara pulls the lever and the Tardis dematerialises.)
