Part Three
[Spacecraft]
(The Doctor wakes, and staggers to the control panel. He pulls out a small pyramid with seaweed on the end, and Ace is ejected out through the top of the escape hatch as the snake knocks the Doctor down once again)
[Dig site]
(Warmsly is giving Ancelyn a tour of the site.)
WARMSLY: Yes, this site is where Arthur is supposed to have met Mordred in the final battle, and this lake, where Bedivere threw Excalibur.
ANCELYN: What do you know of Excalibur?
WARMSLY: King Arthur's sword, Excalibur, wrought by the lonely maiden of the lake, who rose up out of the water holding the sword Excalibur aloft.
ANCELYN: This lake?
WARMSLY: Thou rememberest how, in those old days, one summer noon, an arm rose up from out the bosom of the lake clothed in white samite, mystic, wonderful, holding the sword. And how I rode across and took it, and have worn it, like a king. It's all a myth, really. Honestly, women in water holding swords?
(Bambera stares as a sword rises point first from the waters, followed by an arm clothed in black nylon belonging to a spluttering Ace)
BAMBERA: Look!
WARMSLY: It's that wretched girl!
(Ace runs onto the shore.)
BAMBERA: What are you doing in the lake?
ACE: Drowning. Here, you can be King of England. (Ace hands the sword to Ancelyn)
ANCELYN: It's Excalibur.
ACE: That's what I said, Shakespeare.
BAMBERA: Where's the Doctor?
ACE: In a spaceship, down there! He's in trouble. We've got to help him.
(The Brigadier and Shou arrive in her 2CV.)
SHOU: Oi!
ANCELYN: Truly, the time of restitution has come.
[Spacecraft]
DOCTOR: Come out, come out, wherever you are, you little tapeworm.
(The energy snake knocks the Doctor over and he drops the control unit. He makes a grab for it and ends up lying next to Arthur. Then someone's foot treads on the control unit, breaking it, and the green snake vanishes.)
DOCTOR: (cough) Oh.
BRIGADIER: I just can't let you out of my sight, can I, Doctor?
DOCTOR: Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart. So you recognise me, then?
BRIGADIER: Yes. Who else would it be?
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Elizabeth's white stick hits a foot. She feels up the chain mail arm to the steel plated shoulder.)
ELIZABETH: Who are you? What do you want? Pat! Come quickly, Patrick!
[Dig site]
(Gazing down at the tunnel entrance.)
BAMBERA: Two people were down there and you didn't tell me.
WARMSLY: Well, I..
BAMBERA: Down there, in a trap.
ACE: Yeah. Let's you in but it doesn't let you out.
WARMSLY: Yes, well, Ace got out all right.
BAMBERA: But the Doctor is still down there.
SHOU: And the Brigadier.
BAMBERA: I am the Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: So am I.
(The Brigadier comes out of the tunnel.)
ACE: Hey, I thought it let you in but it doesn't let you out.
DOCTOR: It let me out.
BAMBERA: Brigadier, I thought you'd retired.
BRIGADIER: So did I, Brigadier. Now, is the perimeter secure? This whole area is crawling with armed extra-terrestrials and they're hostile.
DOCTOR: Same as ever, eh, Brigadier?
[Churchyard]
MORGAINE: He has possession of Excalibur. Knight Commander.
COMMANDER: My lady.
MORGAINE: Take your men along that road. Seek out those who hold Excalibur and take the sword from them.
COMMANDER: And if they resist?
MORGAINE: Give them an honourable death.
[Dig site]
ANCELYN: My lord Merlin.
BRIGADIER: Merlin?
ANCELYN: Oh, he has many names.
BRIGADIER: He has many faces. And he has many companions. This must be the latest one.
BAMBERA: We've checked the perimeter. Doctor Warmsly is staying with the vehicles.
BRIGADIER: Oh, thank you, Bambera. Oh, see if you can get a blanket for this young lady, will you?
BAMBERA: Yes, sir. Perhaps I should make some tea, too.
(Bamberaleaves.)
BRIGADIER: Well, are you all right, Miss?
ACE: Just call me the latest one, and I can get my own blanket.
(Ace and Shou Yuing leave.)
BRIGADIER: Oh dear. Women. Not really my field.
DOCTOR: Don't worry, Brigadier. People will be shooting at you soon.
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Mordred sips at a pint of beer. There are already 5 empty beer jugs on the bar. Pat brings an empty barrel up from the cellar.)
PAT: Elizabeth?
ELIZABETH: Pat, is that you?
PAT: You all right?
ELIZABETH: Yes, I'm fine. I'm all right.
MORDRED: Your wife?
PAT: Yes.
MORDRED: With your aspect, it is well that she is blind.
(Mordred walks away from the bar with his drink, laughing, as Lavel enters.)
LAVEL: Do you have a phone?
MORDRED: So, what have we here? (Lavel turns and draws her pistol.) Ah, there is light in this grey world.
LAVEL: Don't move.
MORDRED: Am I to do nothing?
LAVEL: Yeah, you can get the tab if you like.
MORDRED: Light and fire. Come, drink with me!
LAVEL: I said, don't move.
MORDRED: Oh, I would wish for kinder words.
(Morgaine enters)
MORGAINE: Mordred. Who is this?
MORDRED: A warrior maid.
MORGAINE: A warrior? Good. I would learn the strength of their forces.
LAVEL: Stay back or I'll shoot.
(Lavel fires and Morgaine catches the bullet, crushes it and drops the dust onto the floor.)
MORGAINE: Be silent. (Lavel drops her gun, hypnotised.) Rest here and tell me. (Lavel kneels at Morgaine's feet and the sorceress puts her hands on Lavel's head) Ah. (Lavel screams.) Quietly, my child. (Morgaine releases Lavel, who collapses.) Now we know, Mordred.
PAT: You can't leave her like that.
(Morgaine zaps Lavel and turns her to ashes.)
MORGAINE: Did my son drink well? Oh, I see that it is so. I must get the tab.
PAT: Get away from here, you..
(Morgaine places her hand in front of Elizabeth's eyes.)
ELIZABETH: I can see. Patrick, I can see!
[Dig site]
(The Brigadier, the Doctor, Warmsly, Ace and Shou take the Carbury Range Rover.)
BRIGADIER: Oh, Bambera, take the other car, will you?
BAMBERA: Yes, sir. Come on, Ancelyn. Looks like we get the deck chair.
ANCELYN: My lady is vexed.
(The Range Rover drives off.)
DOCTOR: We might run into trouble.
BRIGADIER: Oh really, Doctor? You do surprise me.
ACE: Winifred isn't following.
BRIGADIER: Good lord, is that her name?
(In the 2CV.)
BAMBERA: Now I'm vexed.
ANCELYN: What do you seek?
BAMBERA: Stay out of this. You don't even live here.
(Ancelyn holds up the car keys.)
ANCELYN: Perhaps these?
BAMBERA: (snatching them) No.
[Carbury Range Rover]
(The Knight Commander deploys his men either side of the track as the Brigadier drives up)
DOCTOR: Something's wrong.
BRIGADIER: What?
DOCTOR: We haven't been attacked yet.
(A knight throws a grenade which explodes next to the Range Rover. The vehicle swerves but keeps going. The Knight Commander signals his men to open fire.)
BRIGADIER: Down!
(He drives through two knights on the track. They shoot out the rear window but the Brigadier keeps going.)
SHOU: Are they gone?
WARMSLY: Who were they?
BRIGADIER: Now, Doctor, we've been attacked. Happy?
DOCTOR: Yes.
BRIGADIER: Oh, good.
DOCTOR: As long as Morgaine's people are shooting at us, she won't be using more obscure methods of attack.
BRIGADIER: Such as?
DOCTOR: I don't know, and I don't want to find out.
[Castle]
(Morgaine puts her hand to Mordred's head.)
MORDRED: The Knight Commander will stop them.
MORGAINE: Stop Merlin? No, I will deal with Merlin in my own manner.
[Citroen 2CV]
(Bambera had a field telephone with her. It is very static-laden.)
BRIGADIER [OC]: Over.
BAMBERA: Copy you, Greyhound. Will act accordingly. Over. You're from an alternative dimension?
ANCELYN: Yes.
BAMBERA: Good. You don't have cars there?
ANCELYN: No.
BAMBERA: Good. Hold on to this wheel.
(Bambera opens the sun roof, takes her sub-machine gun, stands up and fires at the knights on either side of the road.)
COMMANDER: Magnificent!
[Carbury Range Rover]
(Parked up.)
BAMBERA [OC]: This is Seabird. Piece of cake, Greyhound One. We'll be with you shortly.
BRIGADIER: Much relieved to hear it, Seabird.
ACE: Professor, there's a whole pile of tinheads setting up on the road down there.
(The Doctor is on the roof. Ace throws him the binoculars.)
DOCTOR: Brigadier, tell Bambera she's in trouble.
[Citroen 2CV]
BAMBERA: So, you married or what?
(Then she sees the line of knights across the track, and turns hard left)
[Carbury Range Rover]
(Ace eyes the smoke drifting between the tall pines nearby.)
ACE: We've got to help them.
BRIGADIER: Well, what do you want us to do? The area's swarming with Morgaine's troops.
ACE: Doctor? (The Doctor shakes his head.) No.
BRIGADIER: Better get back to the hotel.
(Ace gets into the Range Rover and they drive away)
[Outside Gore Crow Hotel]
(UNIT are setting up a base. Major Husak leads Elizabeth out by the elbow to a truck, before she shrugs him off.)
ELIZABETH: I can do it myself.
PAT: You'll have to excuse my wife. Half an hour ago she was blind. Now, just who are you?
HUSAK: Major Husak, sir.
PAT: Hmm. You're not English, are you.
HUSAK: No, sir. If you'd please get into the vehicle.
(The Brigadier and Co arrive.)
BRIGADIER: Everything under control?
HUSAK: No, sir.
BRIGADIER: Don't worry, Major. You'll soon get the hang of it. Oh, this is the Doctor. Yeah, well, don't let him baffle you. And this is Peter Warmsly.
HUSAK: Ah, Mister Warmsly. If you'd join Mister Rawlinson in the vehicle, we'll evacuate you from the area.
PAT: Excuse me, there are a few questions I want answered.
WARMSLY: And I have absolutely no intention of being evacuated. This area is where I live.
DOCTOR: You're very angry.
PAT: Of course we're angry.
DOCTOR: And you want to leave.
WARMSLY: No, we do not want to leave.
(The Doctor gives Pat a Look.)
DOCTOR: Of course you want to leave.
PAT: Of course we do.
DOCTOR: I wouldn't stand for any nonsense, if I were you.
WARMSLY: Look, Doctor, the situation is perfectly simple. We are very angry and we.. (Warmsly gets the Look.) Want to leave. Is that right, Pat?
PAT: Don't get in our way.
DOCTOR: I wouldn't dream of it.
PAT: Just no reasoning with these people.
(Pat and Warmsly go to the truck.)
HUSAK: At the risk of being baffled, sir, I have one more evacuee on my list. A young lady.
(Ace and Shou Yuing are nowhere in sight.)
DOCTOR: She seems to have disappeared.
BRIGADIER: Well, there you have it, Major.
(Major Husak salutes the Brigadier, then turns and reluctantly salutes the Doctor before leaving.)
DOCTOR: You've got enough weapons here to fight a war.
BRIGADIER: That's the general idea.
DOCTOR: It'll be useless, Brigadier.
BRIGADIER: Not this time, Doctor. Over here! (A soldier brings a small ammunition box) Open that box, will you? (The Brigadier takes out a large bullet.) Armour piercing, solid core, with a Teflon coating. Go through a Dalek.
DOCTOR: A non-stick bullet.
BRIGADIER: UNIT's been very busy, Doctor. We've also got high-explosive rounds for Yeti's and very efficient armour-piercing rounds for robots. And we've even got gold-tipped bullets for you know what.
DOCTOR: No silver?
BRIGADIER: Silver bullets?
DOCTOR: Well, you never know.
BRIGADIER: Quartermaster Sergeant! Silver bullets. Have we any?
(The evacuation truck drives off. Ace peers round the wall. She is holding Excalibur.)
ACE: You can come out now, they've gone.
SHOU: That was close. I nearly got evacuated.
ACE: You may wish you had.
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Ace and Shou enter as the Doctor pays his respects to the remains of Lt Lavel.)
ACE: What's that?
DOCTOR: A shadow.
ACE: Professor, we've sussed out where the legend of King Arthur came from.
BRIGADIER: I'm sorry, miss, er, young lady, but the Doctor and I have important matters to discuss.
ACE: We reckon that when Ancelyn's lot dumped the freeze-dried king in the lake they must have told the story to some local.
SHOU: But they couldn't handle the more strange aspects.
ACE: So they translated it into terms they could understand. And so old frozen chicken becomes King of the Britons.
BRIGADIER: Doctor, I really must..
DOCTOR: No, Brigadier, this is important.
ACE: Since that's Excalibur..
DOCTOR: It must be the source of Arthur's power.
ACE: And a vital control element to the spaceship under the lake. It wasn't stuck in the stone, it was plugged in.
DOCTOR: Could be.
ACE: I bet Ancelyn knows. Knew.
BRIGADIER: Major Husak is leading a detachment to recover the bodies of Brigadier Bambera and Ancelyn.
ACE: What good are their bodies?
BRIGADIER: UNIT looks after its own, alive or dead, and I want these ashes buried with honour.
[Track]
[The truck stops by a burning tyre and a blue beret. Husak radios in.)
HUSAK: Husak to HQ. The Seabirds are still operational. I repeat, the Seabirds are still operational.
[Gore Crow Hotel]
BRIGADIER: Doctor! Bambera and Ancelyn are alive.
DOCTOR: They're alive?
BRIGADIER: And Major Husak said they seem to be heading north from here.
DOCTOR: Towards the missile convoy.
BRIGADIER: Yes. Bambera's own unit is there.
DOCTOR: But if they lead Morgaine's troops..
BRIGADIER: It's a fully armed nuclear missile.
DOCTOR: If there's an accident. We'd better stop any engagement. Have you got a helicopter available?
BRIGADIER: Oh, better than that, Doctor.
[Outside Gore Crow Hotel]
(Soldiers take a tarpaulin off a bright yellow roadster with the number plate WHO7)
DOCTOR: Ah ha! Bessie!
BRIGADIER: Well, I knew how fond of it you were, so when you last went on your travels I had it put in mothballs.
(The Doctor tries the bulb horn.)
ACE: Does it run on petrol or steam?
[Woods]
(Ancelyn briefly fights a knight before raising his sword for the coup de grace with a yell.)
BAMBERA: Ancelyn! Ancelyn! Can't you do anything quietly? (The knight runs away.) You're going to bring Morgaine's whole army down on us.
ANCELYN: Let them come. Do you not know I am the best knight in the world?
BAMBERA: Ancelyn.
ANCELYN: Yes, my lady?
BAMBERA: In this world, we have a great and honourable tradition of tactical withdrawal.
ANCELYN: Ah, you wish to run away. Well, there can be but thirty of them at the most.
BAMBERA: If you don't start running, I'll kill you myself. Now come on!
ANCELYN: Winifred?
BAMBERA: What?
ANCELYN: Art thou betrothed?
(Two knights appear from the trees.)
BAMBERA: Not now, Ancelyn!
[Outside Gore Crow Hotel]
DOCTOR: Ace, things may get dangerous, so I want you to have this.
ACE: It looks like a piece of chalk.
DOCTOR: It is. I got it from the dartboard. But it will protect you against Morgaine's sorcery.
ACE: A piece of chalk?
DOCTOR: A piece of chalk. At the first sign of anything strange, I want you to draw a chalk circle, and you and Shou Yuing stay inside it along with Excalibur.
ACE: Right, Professor. Chalk circle. Sure.
DOCTOR: And remember, stay inside the circle. Don't leave it until I return.
ACE: Doctor, you are coming back, aren't you?
DOCTOR: Trust me. Ready, Brigadier?
BRIGADIER: Ready.
ACE: Naught to sixty in twenty minutes.
SHOU: As fast as that?
DOCTOR: Appearances can be deceiving, Ace. (The Doctor puts a round device on the steering wheel and turns a lever a lot. Then he starts the engine.) And remember, look after Excalibur and stay in the circle.
(Bessie zooms off, spitting gravel and leaving literally burning rubber behind.)
ACE: Gordon Bennett.
SHOU: Wicked.
[Castle]
(Morgaine is scrying with her crystal ball.)
MORGAINE: Merlin, you fool. To place such a trust in children. I swear that you shall rue this day, if you live.
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Ace opens a small box.)
SHOU: What are they?
ACE: Silver bullets.
SHOU: Really? (Thunder crashes overhead.) What did the Doctor say? At the first sign of something strange..
ACE: Looks like Colonel Blimp has a fancy taste in hardware.
SHOU: You don't like him much, do you?
ACE: I like to be treated as a person, not A latest one. Anyway, I don't trust him to guard the Professor's back. That's my job.
(More thunder.)
SHOU: Do you think that counts as strange?
ACE: Where's the chalk?
[Castle]
MORGAINE: With fire, I shall summon you. With silver I shall bind you.
(Morgaine pulls the silhouette of a large creature with big teeth and horns out of her crystal ball and onto the stone wall)
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Ace finishes drawing a chalk circle on the flagstones. Shou, the scabbard, and Excalibur are in it with her.)
ACE: Do you think we should sprinkle holy water or something?
SHOU: I don't know. It's not my mythology. (The room goes dark except for a light straight down on the circle.) Ace?
ACE: Yeah?
SHOU: What's happening?
[Overlooking the dig site]
(A battle is raging in the trenches when the Doctor stops Bessie. The Brigadier is using the field telephone)
BRIGADIER: Doctor, I've just received the most peculiar from the hotel.
DOCTOR: Does it say anything about Ace and Shou Yuing?
BRIGADIER: No. All it said was, night has fallen here.
DOCTOR: I'll deal with that later. First, I've got to put an end to this bloodshed.
BRIGADIER: Oh, how, Doctor? Stand in the middle and shout stop?
DOCTOR: Good idea.
[Gore Crow Hotel]
ACE: Stupid.
SHOU: What did you say?
ACE: What?
SHOU: Nothing.
ACE: This is stupid.
SHOU: What did you call me?
ACE: I said, this is stupid. You deaf or something?
SHOU: No you didn't. I heard you. You called me stupid.
ACE: I'm not a freak.
SHOU: What?
ACE: I said, I'm not a freak. I'm Ace. Are you dumb or what?
SHOU: I'm not stupid.
(The two girls square up to each other.)
ACE: Then why do you keep saying stupid things?
SHOU: That's good, coming from a reject like you.
ACE: Listen here, toad-face. Just you shut your mouth or I'll knock your teeth in!
(Shou backs up to the edge of the circle.)
SHOU: I bet nobody likes you.
ACE: Shut up.
SHOU: First chance he got, the Doctor went off without you.
ACE: Shut up! Shut up!
SHOU: I bet even your parents hated your guts!
(Now Ace backs up to the edge of the circle.)
ACE: Shut up, you yellow, slant-eyed.. (Then realises she is about to leave the circle. They hug each other.) Someone's playing games with our minds.
[Castle]
MORGAINE: Oh, they breed their children strong on this world. Huh. No matter. There shall be an end to these games.
[Dig site]
(The fighting is nearly even, but UNIT are taking the worst of it. Bambera pushes Ancelyn out of the line of fire.)
BAMBERA: Get out, they're coming this way!
ANCELYN: Mordred! Face me, Mordred! Mordred! (Mordred is staying out of the fighting.) Is your army not enough to give you courage?
MORDRED: Courage? Ha, to face you, Ancelyn, who fled the field at Camlan? Ancelyn the Craven, I call you.
ANCELYN: What care I for the words of a half-man who cowers from a woman's wrath.
(Mordred and Ancelyn yell and rush each other. The Doctor runs between them.)
DOCTOR: Stop! I command it! There will be no battle here!
MORDRED: This is no battle. Tis but a ruse, a diversion. My mother hath summoned the Destroyer, the Lord of Darkness, Eater of Worlds. Look to your children, Merlin, for soon they shall be no more.
DOCTOR: Ace, what have I done?
[Gore Crow Hotel]
(Morgaine is standing just outside the circle.)
MORGAINE: I am Morgaine of the Fey. I am power beyond your imagining. Surrender to me what is mine by right of conquest. Give me Excalibur.
ACE: Never!
MORGAINE: Then you shall be given over to the Destroyer. (The blue-faced, horned beast appears) And become his handmaidens in hell. Bwahahahaha!
